Hello everyone, phew I know it's been a little while. Sometimes I hit walls and I just don't know how to even process my own thoughts, let alone put them up for other people to read. However, this past week something has really resonated in my heart and stirred up some strong emotion; practically begging me to tell someone. So here we go.
I recently heard a statement, "well if it isn't working out for you, there's no hope for any of us." Now, that isn't the first time I have ever heard that, and definitely not the first time I ever felt that.
I truely appreciate if you are a guy reading this, and I know this statement could be taken in a lot of different directions, but right now, my heart is for women and some of the thoughts I've heard, felt and said surrounding this statement.
From the time I was about 12-13 years old, when boys became more than little friends or childhood crushes, something was installed in my brain that the most epic and desired romance of my life was that I should be chased, pursued, won and finally married by a man of God.
Maybe you didn't grow up that way, but maybe you did.
Through the teenage years it was a battle. A battle of emotions, self-worth, not measuring up, being to much, not pretty enough -- the guy not being the honest, strong man you believed him to be. Falling in-love with their potential instead of reality. Broken hearts, slashed dreams and lots of questions as a result.
Make your own list, everyone has a story of where they have been let down.
Regardless of how wishy-washy and silly it sounds, most women have some kind of fantasy as a little girl and it somehow gets demolished as we move in to adulthood.
(have I said props to you if your a guy reading this yet?)
My thoughts of this week really came together when I found out that Rebecca St. James finally found the man she wrote that song for, however many years ago. He "waited" for her. My immediate reaction was "oh good, because if it didn't work out for her, how many dreams of women who have taken that song into full reality would be crushed and totally lost heart."
Yeah. I even surprised myself with that one. I mentally smacked my own hand because that is a terrible way to think about life and situations.
There have been wonderful, beautiful amazing women in my life from the time I was born and when even just one of them don't seem like they are going to get married my thoughts go to: "man, if she doesn't get married it makes me want to question so many things. How can you not get a husband and get married when you spend your whole life devoted to Jesus and save yourself entirely for a man?"
I'm currently reading "Falling in love with Jesus" by Dee Brestin and Kathy Troccoli. My Mom gave it to me about 4 years ago, right after a very significant break up in my life that left me devastated. As you can see, it took me this long to open it up and read more than a chapter in it. I think it's because in the Christian world we are given two things to try to band-aid up our broken hearts.
(p.s. I am in love with this book, so many things have hit home for me while reading it and I would suggest it to anyone, I'm addressing the attitude I once had about it.)
The two things are this: 1) Fall in love with Jesus, don't worry about anything else, just put your full focus on Him, 2) Wait for your future husband, because he's out there, pray for him, think about him, dream about the man who will one day come for you.
I am not mocking or knocking these two things, but I have been fed that my whole life and I NEVER FULLY BOUGHT IT. I have been wrestling with why I have never bought it. Sure, I pray and write to my future husband, I've also constantly laid down my little hearts desires and told God he could do whatever he wanted with them.
And yet, I would look at people's lives who weren't married and I thought should be married and would think "man, I hope it works out for them because otherwise, there's definitely no hope for me."
How does that thought a line with waiting for the right one and falling in love with Jesus? To me, that just speaks fear, frustration and a mistrust in God. I think it's a smack in the face actually.
How did I come to terms with that? Well it's still a learning process, let me assure you, and I think it will always be.
Over the past year and a half, God has been en-graining something in me, so deeply that I understand more and more through almost every situation in my life. I have learned that God is a creative creator. He would NEVER do something the exact same way in people lives. How can I possibly compare what God is doing in other people lives to my own? Do I not trust that HE is on the throne and HE has GREAT plans all of His own for my life?
You cannot shorten His hand and say that He isn't doing things in your life or in other people's life the way He was supposed to.
How can we say there is no hope?
If you stand and believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord,that He is the creator and master of your life - there is ALWAYS hope.
I am tired to being discouraged in myself based on other people's situations, and I am done with other women comparing themselves to the "perfect picture" they desire for their lives and being constantly let down because they either never taste it or they get that "perfection" and find it isn't perfect.
As I am challenging others, I am most definitely challenging myself. Our lives cannot depend on what were not getting and what we see other people getting.
Beautiful, treasured women of God; don't settle for anyone else's life. Choose to trust that God has a plan and don't be afraid if it looks different.
Go on the trips, lead the worship team, start a small group, write a book, sing your songs. If there is a man, great! If there isn't, great!
In Romans 8:28 it says: "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose."
It doesn't say some things will bekind of nice if we chose to love Jesus. No, it says EVERYTHING for the GOOD of those who love Him. And I believe that truly loving Him automatically goes with trusting Him.
So trust Him, trust Him to move in incredible ways in your life, not based on anyone else's life. He has special things for you personally and He is VERY creative.
That's it guys, have a blessed day :]
