July 22, 2016

Haiti

After a few weeks, looking through pictures and explaining our trip to many people, I feel like it's time for a blog. My husband & I spent a total of 9 days, 2 of which were solely travel with 18 other people, half adults half teenagers, on a trip to Haiti. This was the first time we had ever been on a mission's trip together, and it was my first one in over ten years. Leading into Haiti, we saw God provide for us financially and scheduling wise, however there were a lot of woes involved. Because it was literally mass chaos for weeks in advance, I hadn't really sat down and meditated on what Haiti would even be like. I was considering team dynamics, preparing myself for the heat...but beyond that I was just thankful to be going.
I think God used that definitely. Sometimes when you have high expectations or even expectations in general, you miss what God wants to show you. I hope you enjoy a little retelling of our time in Haiti and the little precious moments God allowed me to experience.

Haiti.
It's beautiful.
It's gross.
It's fullfilling.
It's dissapointing.
It's devastating.
It's restoration.
The Heart of God is so evident here. In every shape and form.
 After a full day of travel with limited sleep we landed in Port-au-Prince.
Mountains? 
That was one of my initial thoughts. I had seen in pictures what I would consider "big hills", but these, these were majestic tall mountains.
The airport was a little more madness than I would usually prefer, however all our luggage made it. We took extra for supplies so I was shocked, but thankful.
Maneuvering through the airport, we were in single file. My husband was a few people in front of me, I glanced forward a few times and the second time I did, he was "fist bumping" a Haitian man who was chatting him up. I rolled my eyes and cracked a grin. There is so much comfort in that my husband literally makes friends wherever he goes. I'm thankful for the favor that rests on his life because it gives me so much peace.
A huge sigh of relief came over me once we were in the vans, moving down the road.
Words cannot express the devastation that is present on these streets. There is garbage embedded in their dirt. Trash burning close by the market places. People milling every which way, dressed in their best, but some without shoes. Animals roaming. "Motos" riding about with at least 3 people sitting on them as they zip through traffic. Chaos is the word I'm thinking of.
Another miracle, all 3 of our vehicles made it safely to Christianville.
I am so thankful I got ride over in the vans with my family.
My husband, youngest brother and youngest sister came on this adventure with me. There was such a sense of security having them there with me and also and overwhelming joy, getting to see my siblings take in and process a new experience.
Pure exhaustion led us quickly to bed that evening.
Also, I have never been more thankful for a cold shower in all my life.

The plan for the first two days for my brother and I was to spend full days at a clinic a few miles down the road run by an American husband and wife, doctor and nurse, team who had been established there for several years. The rest of the team was being divided into a repair/desk making team and Vacation Bible School (VBS) in one of the neighboring villages. Before we left for our tasks, Sue found us.
Sue is another American woman, who has spent the last several years of her life devoted to the children of Haiti. Her children, orphans, live in a home on the Christianville campus. Because of her reputation in the community, if there are children that have been abandoned, someone from the community tells her.
"There are twins that were born, the mother is crazy and no where to be found. We have to go find them."
Oh no God, not babies, not today, the first day. 
My heart sank. There were so many reasons as a nurse I never wanted to work with newborns or children. I silently prayed to myself that a few of the moms on the trip would want to go find these babies. Instantly two moms and one of their daughters said they wanted to go. They left quickly after that, the rest of us solemnly loaded into the school bus (our local transportation), they dropped my brother and I off at the clinic and the rest went to VBS.

The clinic was the most organized thing I saw in Haiti. There was an outside waiting area, and also people sat in benches in the hall. There were several examination rooms, an office and clean water. We quickly were introduced to the staff, Haitian and American, and got to sit in on their morning meeting. My brother and I had a brief conversation about finding the babies, not realizing we had both not wanted to go because it was to upsetting.
We had not been at the clinic for an hour and the head nurse came in.
"Sue is bringing in twins, they are probably premature, born last night."
My heart sank almost instantly. My gut response?
Jesus, I don't want to see a baby die today. 
Before there was anytime to process, we had the two babies on a regular examination table. Although some of our teammates (who had brought them in with Sue) were standing there, looking as scared as I felt, we all jumped into fast mode. Holding back any anxiety, I let myself look at these precious little ones. The smallest little ones I've ever seen.
The boy, was kicking and crying. The girl was not.
Both cold, both wrapped up in bonnets, so tight they probably couldn't even breathe that well.
In a blur, 6-7 people ranged around that table at a time taking off their soiled clothes, testing their tiny feet for oxygen levels, taking temperatures and blood sugars.
Doctor Jim listened to their lungs.
"They're clear, surprisingly."
The first sigh of relief silently washed over the entire room.
In that moment, while books were being pulled out to check APGAR scores, I remember thinking one very clear thing. I knew that Jesus was there with us. I barely knew these people in this room, but I felt their hearts. I knew that we all viewed life the same.
The second realization was how well everyone was working together, and how easily they let my brother and I jump in as soon as we knew what they wanted. It was team work, it wasn't perfect, but there was a very clear goal.
"They need names," Sandy, the head nurse said at one point.
Sue was still standing in the room with us.
"I'll ask the girls." Meaning our temmates, who had been asked to sit out in the waiting area awhile before.
She flew out the door, and minutes later she was back.
"Liam and Hailey."
All 6-7 of us then started cooing their names over them.
While still working hard to stabilize blood sugar and temperature, something else changed in the room.
They had names.
In that moment I was overwhelmed with how important names are. And how before we knew their names, God knew their names. I finally understood in that moment why some parents spend so much time over naming their children. Because names matter. And they matter to the Lord.
Although the room was much lighter, we still were moving. Attempted IVs, washing of their hair, calling the helicopter to come, spelling their names and Sue singing "Jesus loves me".
Soon we had mostly clean babies, wrapped up in warm blankets waiting for the pickup. Liam was ready first, I got to walk around holding him. I literally could've held his little 2 lb body forever and never put him in down. However, soon the helicopter team was there, and soon enough, the kiddos were gone. And so were 3 hours. The rest of our day was hardly as eventful, and even the second day could not compare. But I am sincerely grateful for the relationships that were started in the very brief time we were with such and incredible team.
We finished our clinic time on Friday, however our medical experience did not stop until Sunday. My youngest sister got sick with a virus that was traveling among some of the girls on campus. I was utterly thankful that the other leader on our trip was also a nurse because I stayed up most of the night with my sister and almost passed out of complete exhaustion, she took over. In the late morning after some IV fluids and medication, my sister was finally resting and able to keep a few things down. In my sleepy state, I marveled at how moms must feel with sick kids.
Also, how do they do it when more than one kid is sick?
I talked with the moms about it later, and we laughed at how some of the stories they didn't even believe they managed through. It was comforting to have all the moms there.
In my heart, I felt the tug of the Lord again. Between the babies and my sick sister, God was showing me little tiny pieces of what being a parent must be like. To feel deeply helpless and relying on His strength and plan. It was a beautiful thing for my heart.

 Sunday was the turning the point in the trip, a huge relief sigh for me. 1/4 of our team stayed to go to a local church service while the rest went to a mountain service. My sister was still recovering, and a few of the girls weren't feeling the best, so my husband and I stayed back.
At first I was afraid we would all feel like we missed out on something. But instead it was such a perfect gift after such a stressful few days. I am thankful that worship is the same in every language and that the Holy Spirit does not have a language. Worshiping with them felt like home. I could only understand maybe a few words that they said, and we were the minority for sure, but it was heavenly.
We spent the afternoon all together at the beach. It was refreshing to the body, soul & spirit.
The rest of the time for me was about helping finish the desks. I went to VBS for one of the days with half the crew and decided after that, the needs for desks was greater. The desks were being built for one of the schools and their desks were literally falling a part.
After a really involved front half of the week, I'm very thankful we had an activity that we could do at a lower level that was still helpful.
It was really different the whole trip after doing many outreaches in my home for several years, to not be able to help with basic things or not knowing where things even were. Something that God spoke so tenderly to my heart about, and then my teammates encouraged me also. I look back and see how easily I could've gotten really upset and angry or controlling, but instead I chose peace and looking for ways to serve my fellow teammates. And that was even by the grace of God.
By the end, some were ready to go home, some still processing and some sad to leave.
It's a beautiful thing to see God move and change people's lives.
I am so thankful for that opportunity.