how it came to be.

hello all,
so, with exciting news in the air about my relationship with a special man, I wanted to take some time and not only write a blog about our engagement, but also about us.

I have been waiting to be engaged to write this particular blog, although I've written it out to myself. I hope you are humored by our story, we have had a lot of fun living it out!

Josh & I have known of each other since we were about 17, because of mutual friends and church situations. I have often visited Cornerstone Chapel for their youth groups/young adult groups. Our first official conversation was at a Charlie Hall concert at Worldview (aka River aka Journey) in 2007, our senior year.
Everyone was waiting in line to be let in and me in my spunky 18-year-old stuff decided I wanted to be the first person in. I made a big deal about it, and no one seemed to care and let me go in front of 5 people in line. Josh was one of those people, he gave me a look with his gorgeous blue eyes that told me he was amused and knew who I was, even though it had been a little while. My best friend Erin pulled me aside during our waiting time and said "that's Josh Warner".
At that time of our lives, Josh had an interesting reputation of being a quiet guy who liked to be around girls, lol. Erin warned me to keep my distance lol.

Two 1/2 years past, every once in awhile Josh would be mentioned in conversation with Sarah or Erin. And then Josh showed up at the Vineyard in Parma, and I remember us having one or two interactions originally where we were both like "I know who you are...but I can't remember why" .
Still remembering to keep my distance, I wouldn't actually have many conversations with Josh, but he was around. He came to the house of prayer in Cleveland on Saturday nights, saw him at church stuff, especially a lot more after we both became members.
In October or November we had a brief convo over facebook chat because I heard about a girl he was starting to like, and I just told him to be careful and patient, not to just go for any girl. lol.
During that time frame, my cousin Ally became a Christian. It was so exciting and she wanted to meet as many Christian people as possible. So she came and visited me and met a bunch of people from church and C-HOP. Including one of my guy friends, Aaron and Josh.
Somehow, the four of us were slung into a party of planning a cedar point trip in the summer.
During this time, Josh and I were natrually becoming better friends, he drove me home from C-HOP one time. I scoffed at his golf clubs in the back of his car and the country music he knew every word too. I knew my Dad would like him, and I got scared (lol). We exchanged phone numbers one day because he told me how he would fall asleep while driving (at the time he had a 45 minute drive home) quite often, it scared me and I didn't want him to die. Seeing that I worked 3-11 most days, I told him if he was every getting sleepy he could call me.
Turns out I ended up calling him more. Our first conversation on the phone started off by me saying that he wasn't allowed to like me. That I had enough complicated relationships with guys and I really just wanted to be his friend. He told me he wouldn't like me, it wouldn't be a problem.
We text fairly often, mostly when we were watching Glee on TV or on Thursday nights right before I would start my set at C-HOP. He came to our Spring Kingslove outreach and gave me a decent hard time, just for fun. My favorite convo probably was when he was teasing and said "make me a sandwhich", I told him he had to build me a kitchen, and he said he could.
As our friendship grew, I firmly believe that it was the Cedar Point trip that made it very obvious that we were definitely friends. Best Cedar Point day ever, we all had so much fun. And from that day I really started to trust Josh. Still no feelings. Promise :]
Throughout the summer, we had a lunch a few times, still were talking, hanging out, seeing each other at small group, really being friends.
I still had this view of him that he was a laid back, push over, nice guy who would just like any girl who liked him.
That opinion started being put to rest in August when we took a girl he liked out on a date, after some wrestling with him, he finally told me about her the day before. I was happy for him, but something inside of me was sad, because I knew I would lose a friend.
After their date I text him how it went, he proceeded to call me and rant for a good 45 minutes about how rude she was...lol it was the most spirited I had ever seen him be, and it was hilarious!
That conversation led to several about what kind of people we wanted to date, which continued into our 6 hour car ride to Michigan for the camping trip Aaron and my cousin Ally planned for us to go on at the end of August.
However, the week before the trip, at church, Josh sent me a text that simply said "hey you looked cute today". I flipped, I called him later that evening saying "you can't go around telling girls you think they look cute, they'll start thinking you like them!" He assured me he didn't like me and he wasn't going too.
I did a lot of kicking and whining before this trip, I had to do major adjustments at work, I was missing an outreach at church I've always wanted to do, we hadn't gotten anyone else to want to go with us, we were leaving after I got off of work on Thursday at like 12 am, I was nervous about Josh falling asleep at the wheel...the list goes on.
Regardless, that Thursday evening while I was at work, Josh began to smooth my worries by simply asking me if I could trust him, to drive there and that we would have a good time. It took some convincing but when I came out at 11:30 and he gave me a hug, my worried melted and I was determined to have a good time. 3 1/2 hours later, we arrived at our half-way point, Ally's house. We had a wonderful time eating sugar to stay away and playing "would you rather" and talking about the kind of people we wanted to date.
The next day was an assortment of shopping for food for the weekend and a lot of driving. Once we got the campsite I watched Josh get frustrated with setting up camp, for some reason, I liked that? The only side I ever saw of him was at church...and people are usually pretty nice at church lol. Almost without realizing it, my attraction to him was growing, and I wanted to see how the water was on his end. I winked at him during his frustrated moments, his entire expression changed to surprise lol.
The playfulness between us grew from that point on. I knew for sure there was something going through his head when we went to the lake the last day we were there and he splashed me relentlessly. I was glad he wasn't afraid of me, but I was also a little on my guard. As the evening went on, I became more comfortable with him, more trusting. He was giving me back rubs and I was rubbing his head. We ended up staying up all night talking, being totally open with each other about all different parts of our lives. About Jesus, our families, his new move to 12 minutes away from me, everything.
The best thing he said that night was that he saw that I wasn't as tough as I let on most of the time, that I'm actually quite fragile and need to be kept safe. My heart was won right then and there.
On two hours of sleep, we trekked back to Ohio the following day. Josh held my hand the whole way home. I slept while he held my hand :]
Once we got back, I promptly left for work and proceeded to work a 12-hour night shift. Which I only got tired a couple times. The new energy that I had found, the new excitement that I got when he sent me a text whenever he woke up during the night warmed my body and soul.
I slept for about 6 hours the next day, and than after work Josh came and picked me up to go on our first date. We went to Starbucks and gotten frozen drinks and then went down to Hunnington Beach to just talk.
We covered all the basics, how many relationships we had been in, how we were feeling about each other, etc. It was so natural and so normal to have him hug me and look at me in a caring way.
At the end of the night, we were sitting in his car, my legs were on top of his lap and all I wanted to know if he was going to kiss me. I asked him quietly and he gave me that stubborn look that I now know all to well and said "yes, when I'm ready".
At the end of the night he gave me the best first kiss I had ever had and asked me to be his girlfriend.

The amount of joy that was born in my heart, has only doubled since than. I thank God for all the time of waiting that was before this phase, I love seeings the way He works in our lives more perfectly than we could ever imagine. I would've never chosen Josh for myself, but God had him picked out from the beginning.
This is my testimony of how God fulfills our heart's desires in His own way and timing.
I guess in a way to follow up to my last blog is to simply say, I still stand firmly that God has to make you a whole somebody, with a vision and a foundation before He could bring someone into your life. And I heard someone say once that if your relationship brings glory to Jesus than He wants you to be in it. That's the only reason we should be in relationships, so that we can bring honor to the name of Jesus. By His grace, I attempt to that with my relationship with Josh every day.

Josh - I love you sweetheart, I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with you and I couldn't ask for anything better. You are incredible man and you make my heart dance & mouth sing!!