bye-bye 2011.

I know. It's been months.

This past week I feel human again. With working, the holidays & simply trying to keep up with everything, including sleep - I was struggling. But thankfully now, with 3 more weeks left of freedom, I am relaxing.

As always, approaching a new year causes me to become reflective, as it does a lot of people. It's been almost overwhelming thinking about the changes that will be taking place in the coming year, which has been specifically on my mind.
A few weeks ago, I passed my 2nd semester of Nursing School, allowing me to continue on into my second year! One of the girls I go to school with mentioned that we only have one more time signing up for classes before we're all done. So Lord-willing, a year from now I will have an Associate Degree in Nursing! One of those things I never felt would come. It's been a struggle, but a well worth struggle in the end. God has shown himself so faithful. Giving me opportunities with different people I would've never had, had I not had to re-do the semester. It was worth it. To be honest, I'm very glad I'm not juggling finishing up school, graduating, taking boards & starting a new job all at the same time of planning my wedding.
:] My wedding.
Another transition of 2012. I'm going to be a married woman! Very excited! Since we past the 200 day mark I feel like time is flying, yet saying goodnight to Josh and heading home tonight makes it feel like it lagging.
It's starting to really hit home, that my home will be different from that point on. That's been really startling to me. And not in the way that means I'm scared or not looking forward to it, just simply because it's totally new.
My life is changing before my very eyes.
Sometimes I don't even realize because it's going so fast, and all I can do is keep up.
But then when I get to slow down, for those few small moments, I can see it.

Priorities are so different at this stage of life too. I assume they will continue to change as time goes on. And it's hard, to have to pick and choose what things take a higer priority, sometimes it's makes me very unhappy. But, I can't do it all. I can't be there for everyone, even though my heart wants to.

I'm glad that God has given things back to me that I really didn't think would return. He's so good. He's good even when we can't see it, but oh when we can, it's so beautiful. Little things even, make the biggest differance to me, when God answers a little plee of my heart. It may not always look the way we planned or wanted, but it's so much better.

In conclusion, this year has been epic, in epic proportion. In amazing & difficult ways. Love was shown in greater capacity than I ever imagined. Things were broken and restored. Compassion came forth stronger on my heart than I had ever experienced, literally my heart breaking for someone else dear to me. Trust was built and struggles were pressed through. I know that joy comes in the morning. I know things are worth waiting for, fighting for.

Something God has been laying on my heart, that He's challenging me with is to not let expecting failure & dissappointment rule my life, expecting it from everything to protect my heart from it. But God has that role, and I so long to be in freedom from it, and to expect that God is living, breathing & working for the good of those who love Him. And I love Him.

Happy new year guys, I'm really excited for 2012!