Conditioned

Don't settle. Change the world. Live on the edge. Do crazy things for God. Go to the ends of the earth. Live radically. ............. Nothing I haven't heard before. Growing up in the church, specifically in youth group, I have heard these types of phrases my entire life. Although none of these are incorrect, instead of my life being focused on Jesus and what He has done for me and others, the Christian life seems to be far more focused on what I can do for Jesus and others. Again, not exactly wrong, it just seems to be a little off balanced. I rarely blog anymore, however when I do it's after hours of thoughts and conversations with other people, I hope to be able to articulate what is in my heart, and I'm praying to be understood. Over the past few years, I have been examining how these types of phrases, and others similar, literally have dominated my life, for most of my life. I have been very convicted to unpack the statements, mostly because it's important for them to be reasoned out for my true understanding of what I believe. When people say Christians have been brain washed, I actually agree, some have. I can stand in confidence though that I have not. Why? Because I come to the Lord and question, wrestle, sort and weigh in order to truly know what I believe. And through the power of the Holy Spirit, the eyes of my understanding have been made open and will continue to as I search things out. It's not an easy thing to question what you believe. But it's severely important. Otherwise you're believing in something you don't understand, which actually is scary, like being brain washed. In the process of doing that, I have found that Jesus is the best answer, every time. It's not a cop-out, it's not sugar coated. I believe that He is and what the Bible says is true. It's not because I'm afraid to displease my parents or I've been just so sheltered I don't know what's really out there. Did I miss out on somethings growing up, yes, is that okay that I didn't have to walk down that path, yes. I still know that Jesus is the only hope. True, powerful, life changing hope. And if you don't believe me, than I dare you to try Him out. That has been the base of my thoughts for some time now. The most recent battle has been about how as a child who grew up in the church, who is now walking out what it means to be an adult, wrestling with how I have been conditioned to live out my life. I know that the message of going out and changing the world, being the difference so that as many people get saved is actually a good thing, at the very least the heart behind it is. I respect people who have that mission, but I'm not always convinced it's the best way. Yes, the world needs Jesus. But so do you, your family and you friends. Standing up for what you believe in is crucial and we are supposed to do so. But the way that you do it just as equally as important. Social media has created a very interesting platform for these two specific things. I find myself, often, debating on how I need to address current event issues or simply how I am expressing my own belief. I am still learning about that balance. I'm also learning that sometimes, no matter what you say, people are going to not agree, and even that's okay. Why? Because it's my job to reflect Jesus to the best I can. It's not my job to try and convince people to believe what I do because number one it won't work, and number two, God is very good at making a name for himself. In light of that, what does it mean to reflect Jesus? Is it about being so perfect that everyone around you just knows you're different? Definitely not, and also impossible. Is it about constantly sharing Bible verses and always having the answer ready to throw at anyone? No. On two accounts. One, why would the Bible matter to anyone that doesn't believe that it's true? To them, it's just a book. And two, sometimes walking in humility, admitting you're wrong and just simply listening is far more impacting. (I realize I just wrote about not using Bible verses, however the direction I'm going, I will be, take it as you will) The verse that always comes to my mind and something that I love about the Lord is that it's his kindness, and in some versions, goodness is what draws us to Him, that causes us to what to change our lives and repent (Romans 2:4). So as much as we are called to stand up and know what we believe, we are just as readily supposed to function on a level of kindness, and not judgement. Because let's be real. The true followers of Jesus don't choose Him because he forces us to love Him. We honor and adore him for what He's done for us, because He loved us so much He has given us life after death with Him in heaven. Not because we deserve it, but because He loves us. And that's why we love him. So therefore, by our kindness we reflect Him. It is his job to judge, not ours. Although we have been taught that being a Christian has to look a certain way, and even so the world has been taught of how we should look, that being a Christian means doing crazy levels of life to really be "walking out our calling", it's not okay. We have literally run ourselves into the ground, obsessed with having the best life or the most radical life to so "please God". We rarely ever talk about how good and right it is to be faithful in the small things. To be Jesus to everyone around us. Not to wait until you're in another country or you've become a pastor. But to literally reflect Jesus wherever you go. It is a challenge, it does look different than what we are conditioned to believe, especially nowadays. Knowing that there is no shame or lack of purpose in having a normal job, being a faithful husband or wife, loving your children and training them to believe things for themselves, and caring for those around you, truly and honestly. That even when you feel a lack of purpose in those roles, the Lord will always lovingly remind you that He has put you there for a reason. If you're willing, He's willing. It's something I wrestle with, as many do. We have been conditioned to believe that if we're not doing the "epic adventure" that we're not fulfilling our "true purpose". And that's when you're life falls apart. People get discouraged. They don't feel good enough. Marriages fall apart because they "settled" and God has "better". It makes me sick. When we start to believe that we're just in wrong circumstance, we begin to stray away from what He's given to us. That's right, given. He doesn't make mistakes. He put you there for a reason. He's not twiddling His thumbs wondering what you're going to do next. He is in control. My point is this, because I chose Jesus, I am not settling. Because I desire my life, no matter the circumstance, to bring Him glory and my eyes are fixed on Him, I am living an adventure that will never stop. I am enough because I have given my life to Him. I am blessed because I am His child and He knows my name. I will not fear because my hope for life and eternity rests in Him. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly". John 10:10. I feel like as you go through different seasons, you have a different testimony, and right now, this is mine. My goal for this entry was to share my own faith, stir up other who may seem caught up in life, and to challenge those who don't believe it's the truth. I am not a forceful person, but I am passionate. Thank you so much for reading this and hearing my heart.