Hii guys :]
Thank goodness it's stopped snowing, and I have this week off from tests from school, big tests anyways. Everytime I walk into that building it becomes a test of something. At the least, my character.
So, it's Valentine's Day. The only day I literally hate the color pink and red.
I like red and I like pink. But together...it's just so ugly.
I've gone through every sort of emotion on Valentine's Day I think there is. I think it has finally start to lose it's affect on me, thankfully.
I remember one year, I believe I was 16 or 17; I was already having a rough day and I think it was a few days before V-Day, I had just officially broken up my previous boyfriend and had seen him after we had broken up. I walked through the isle of cards and such in Target, the ones covered in obnoxious red and pink paper and glitter; and I literally left crying.
...I have come on long way from there.
I've actually only had one Valentine's Day being a girlfriend, and it was with my long distance relationship. I remember writing a blog about the grass not being greener on the other side. Could've been the fact that it wasn't a healthy relationship anyways, but I think it also had to do with...realzing there's more to life, and love actually, then a silly holiday full of hearts and bows and chocolate and kissing and love notes.
Approaching Valentine's Day this year, I was thinking about the sad and very strong contrast of the people this day usually requires to stand out.
Lovers and Losers.
If you have someone, it's like the day that you are in love like never before and you don't spend a moment apart. If you don't have someone, your stuck alone, watching a sad, sappy, romance movie, drinking wine, eating chocolate and crying.
Sheeesh. It's so harsh! It makes me sad just thinking about it.
I also think it's kind of funny because I chose to spend V-Day by myself, chilling out at home because I've needed a break like this. I love that have this day to myself.
I won't lie though. The day that I finally have the right man in my life, I can't wait to spend time with him. Not just on the days that tell me to either. On days where I don't feel like coping with life and I need a break and he'll be able to take one with me.
I'm learning so much about being patient and waiting. I think it's such a big and important lesson that God wants us to learn. It's crucial to making the rest of your life.
It's a daily thing. Choosing between giving in and holding out.
Understanding love is very confusing to me. I know when I love someone. I care about them, I want them to do well, to be their best, to love Jesus, to find what makes them come alive. I want them to thrive.
I love people who encourage me, the people who take the time to know my heart.
I love God because He first loved me. Yet, I discover all the time I don't even understand that. It keeps surprising me, over and over. In new ways, drawing me closer to Him.
All these different labels of love.
I used to think that I knew what being in love felt like. But now, I know I have no clue. I don't think I'll know until I breathe my last breath. It's just one of those things I eagerly anticipate learning more about.
It amazes me when people say they're in love, because I am baffled by what that even would look like.
I hope to be pleasantly surprised when it finally happens. More than pleasantly actually.
Until that time, I will learn how to be patient [focus on school lol] and look at Jesus' face.
Now, I'm off to a bubble bath and candles and my journal.
*muah*
lovelovelove :]
February 14, 2010
February 10, 2010
ugaah.
today has proved so much to me. about pressing through and surviving. some of those things that I have learned from have made full circle and come to conclusions.
for instance, my drive home today from school, I slid so many times it scared me beyond belief. at one point I felt like throwing up, I couldn't feel my fingers or toes and I was trembling. I hate driving in the snow.
however, I got through I survied, I pressed on.
in contrast:
I came home, checked my math test, found out I have to go and take it again and meet with my teacher, and then tomorrow or Friday I have to meet with my OTHER teacher talk about my OTHER test. I'm studying and reading and writing like crazy for our test on Friday. school is so hard. I love the hands on part of it, and I do love learning...but at this pace where it's like pass or fail, it's scary and in knocks the wind out you, constantly.
my Dad verbalized it really well today, he basically said that I needed a little boost of positive before I went in and took this test in like...ehhh...like 32 hours or so.
I spent the last hour making notes and chapters and such, listening to music, just to keep me awake [I had clinicals today and yesterday...lack of sleep is huge]. There's a strong need for me to find some kind of resolve and not let myself be swallowed up in feeling insignificant.
Oh Jesus.
Save my heart. Save my soul. I want you. I need you.
for instance, my drive home today from school, I slid so many times it scared me beyond belief. at one point I felt like throwing up, I couldn't feel my fingers or toes and I was trembling. I hate driving in the snow.
however, I got through I survied, I pressed on.
in contrast:
I came home, checked my math test, found out I have to go and take it again and meet with my teacher, and then tomorrow or Friday I have to meet with my OTHER teacher talk about my OTHER test. I'm studying and reading and writing like crazy for our test on Friday. school is so hard. I love the hands on part of it, and I do love learning...but at this pace where it's like pass or fail, it's scary and in knocks the wind out you, constantly.
my Dad verbalized it really well today, he basically said that I needed a little boost of positive before I went in and took this test in like...ehhh...like 32 hours or so.
I spent the last hour making notes and chapters and such, listening to music, just to keep me awake [I had clinicals today and yesterday...lack of sleep is huge]. There's a strong need for me to find some kind of resolve and not let myself be swallowed up in feeling insignificant.
Oh Jesus.
Save my heart. Save my soul. I want you. I need you.
February 1, 2010
21.
21.
twenty-one.
the big two one.
for sure an adult.
hmph.
I've been contemplating this blog all week...however...there's things called life...namely, school.
Anyways.
I was thinking, as usual. At the moment these are 21 things that have meant a lot of me in the past year. Worth documenting I think.
6 songs that have my made my year:
1. Where I belong - Cory Asbury. I was in the middle of the internship at C-HOP, mid-February, I was kind of having a hard time already with school and life. One of the long-timers of C-Hop was giving his testimony through music and movie clips. Pretty much the most ingenious things I've ever seen. When "where I belong" came on, with the words infront of me, I curled into a little ball in the corner and cried. It spoke to my heart so drastically and it still does everytime I hear it.
2. Salt in the snow - The Classic Crime. There's a part of this song, that says that winter's snow will bring summer's warmth. Kind of like in the Song of Solomon when it talks about the winter has past, and it's time to sing a new song. It was like there was more calling to my heart to just press through and keep going, no matter how cold I felt; on the inside.
3. Unstoppable - Rascal Flatts. I had a lot of favorite songs over the summer. I pretty much lived in my car all summer and took drives late at night all the time [plus driving home from work late at night], so a lot of the times my CD player was my only companion. This song basically sums up what love means to me. Other than that, I can't really say much about the song. Go listen to it, it's an amazing song. Annnnd it's still my ring-tone :]
4. My Beloved - Cory Asbury. I FINALLY go to hear the real version of this song! Sarah and I were rocking out to at like 12:30 a.m. at C-HOP one night. I can jam to this song anytime, any day.
5. Everyone one to know - Bethany Dillon (acoustic version, with her husband from Shane&Shane). This song makes me smile because I can hear her smile while she singing. Plus it's beautiful, and plus...it really puts this open call that Jesus has put on her heart...and recently mine. We'll see what God does with that. Love love love this song.
6. Everything - Tim Hughes. Now, I've never heard Tom Hughes do it, but apparently he does. I heard this song at church like 2 months ago for the first time, and I have been just in love with it. A lot of times, repetitive worship songs get on your nerves...but not this one.
5 new things I tried and liked this past year:
1. Reading a whole chapter before taking a test
2. Skinny jeans [good with boots, heels, flip-flops and flowy shirts]
3. Painting a room [but never again a ceiling lol]
4. Almay make-up [it's amazing, I would recommend it to anyone esp. their eye-color line]
5. Singing falsetto an entire C-HOP set
4 pieces of advice I was given and would give back out:
1. Don't look at the sin, look at Jesus.
2. Ask God for the things you desire.
3. Don't give up on friendships just because you want a boyfriend.
4. Look for the kind of man you would want to be your husband and the father of your children, that's the kind of man you want to marry.
3 hair products I would recommend to anyone:
1. Loreal Paris - EverPure [no sulfate!!! yessss] Shampoo & Conditioner
2. John Frieda - Frizz Eease Hair Serum
3. John Frieda - Frizz Ease Dream Curls Gel
2 things I just ...really lovelovelove:
1. Not driving, having someone else drive. Shot gun all the way!
2. Having really indepth conversations...followed by really goofy ones.
1 thing:
1. Jesus.
What He does for me. Everyday. Giving me another year of my life, full of His faithfulness. This year was very challenging. So many ups and downs. A lot of frustration intially, a lot of insecurities going into the summer...then God showed me some stuff. Stuff I hadn't really understood and really struggled with my whole life. It was like He was flicking some water on my face. The past 8 months or so, God just has been confirming all these things that I had so many doubts about and He keeps on doing it. I know it's vague. But sometimes things are better left unexplained. All I know is that God loves me passionately, He pursues me and wants me to look at Him.
...And knowing that, going into my 21st year...I am free.
--When the world is falling out from under me, I'll be found in You still standing. When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees, when time and space are through. I'll be found You. You make all things new. --
twenty-one.
the big two one.
for sure an adult.
hmph.
I've been contemplating this blog all week...however...there's things called life...namely, school.
Anyways.
I was thinking, as usual. At the moment these are 21 things that have meant a lot of me in the past year. Worth documenting I think.
6 songs that have my made my year:
1. Where I belong - Cory Asbury. I was in the middle of the internship at C-HOP, mid-February, I was kind of having a hard time already with school and life. One of the long-timers of C-Hop was giving his testimony through music and movie clips. Pretty much the most ingenious things I've ever seen. When "where I belong" came on, with the words infront of me, I curled into a little ball in the corner and cried. It spoke to my heart so drastically and it still does everytime I hear it.
2. Salt in the snow - The Classic Crime. There's a part of this song, that says that winter's snow will bring summer's warmth. Kind of like in the Song of Solomon when it talks about the winter has past, and it's time to sing a new song. It was like there was more calling to my heart to just press through and keep going, no matter how cold I felt; on the inside.
3. Unstoppable - Rascal Flatts. I had a lot of favorite songs over the summer. I pretty much lived in my car all summer and took drives late at night all the time [plus driving home from work late at night], so a lot of the times my CD player was my only companion. This song basically sums up what love means to me. Other than that, I can't really say much about the song. Go listen to it, it's an amazing song. Annnnd it's still my ring-tone :]
4. My Beloved - Cory Asbury. I FINALLY go to hear the real version of this song! Sarah and I were rocking out to at like 12:30 a.m. at C-HOP one night. I can jam to this song anytime, any day.
5. Everyone one to know - Bethany Dillon (acoustic version, with her husband from Shane&Shane). This song makes me smile because I can hear her smile while she singing. Plus it's beautiful, and plus...it really puts this open call that Jesus has put on her heart...and recently mine. We'll see what God does with that. Love love love this song.
6. Everything - Tim Hughes. Now, I've never heard Tom Hughes do it, but apparently he does. I heard this song at church like 2 months ago for the first time, and I have been just in love with it. A lot of times, repetitive worship songs get on your nerves...but not this one.
5 new things I tried and liked this past year:
1. Reading a whole chapter before taking a test
2. Skinny jeans [good with boots, heels, flip-flops and flowy shirts]
3. Painting a room [but never again a ceiling lol]
4. Almay make-up [it's amazing, I would recommend it to anyone esp. their eye-color line]
5. Singing falsetto an entire C-HOP set
4 pieces of advice I was given and would give back out:
1. Don't look at the sin, look at Jesus.
2. Ask God for the things you desire.
3. Don't give up on friendships just because you want a boyfriend.
4. Look for the kind of man you would want to be your husband and the father of your children, that's the kind of man you want to marry.
3 hair products I would recommend to anyone:
1. Loreal Paris - EverPure [no sulfate!!! yessss] Shampoo & Conditioner
2. John Frieda - Frizz Eease Hair Serum
3. John Frieda - Frizz Ease Dream Curls Gel
2 things I just ...really lovelovelove:
1. Not driving, having someone else drive. Shot gun all the way!
2. Having really indepth conversations...followed by really goofy ones.
1 thing:
1. Jesus.
What He does for me. Everyday. Giving me another year of my life, full of His faithfulness. This year was very challenging. So many ups and downs. A lot of frustration intially, a lot of insecurities going into the summer...then God showed me some stuff. Stuff I hadn't really understood and really struggled with my whole life. It was like He was flicking some water on my face. The past 8 months or so, God just has been confirming all these things that I had so many doubts about and He keeps on doing it. I know it's vague. But sometimes things are better left unexplained. All I know is that God loves me passionately, He pursues me and wants me to look at Him.
...And knowing that, going into my 21st year...I am free.
--When the world is falling out from under me, I'll be found in You still standing. When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees, when time and space are through. I'll be found You. You make all things new. --
January 22, 2010
what I was made for.
Phew.
Just finished putting my past two weeks of school power points onto notecards. I could've just printed them out, but...I don't learn that way.
It's interesting, being in school. Nusing school. The school I've been waiting to get into for at least 1 1/2 years if not more. It's been so tedious. Even today I had to fax something else in for my file related to my health assesment. oooohh nursing term. Already wearing off.
As much as I enjoy being school and I've been telling people that it's not as overwhelming because I have been anticipating giving this much of my life away for a while; I have to now deal with people...my teachers and my fellow students. There are 19 people total in my class, and for lab and clinicals we are broken down into even smaller groups! It's a very communicating, teaching, learning, understanding environment that cracks the whip on one hand and cradles you in the next.
It's much more conversational than I'm used to.
Plus I'm not an early morning person, so when I come in to get lectured to, I want to take notes, listen, and go home.
I've taken a nap nearly every day in the past two weeks that I haven't had to work.
It's just a lot of learning, but more so on a level of social understanding, at least for me.
By the time it gets to Friday, I want to sign a certificate that says I made it through another week of school. I have my first test next week, which should be interesting. I have a mountain of cards, and a few more to still make.
But God is good.
I've been asking Him to help keep me humble, teachable and give me more grace. Always more grace, I seem to lack it on a epic level. Grace and tact. God loves to test it though. And I trust Him with that. Because He IS good.
Point and fact of this blog:
Tonight, I was sitting doing my notecards and listening to Adventures in Odyssey [because some stuff is still good]. Ever since school has started, my teachers have all been challenging us about what kind of nurses we want to be. I've never really known for sure. I love kids, but the thought of working with them in a hospital setting...kills me.
With everything going on in Haiti the past week, there has been a little kick inside of me, prayers that I mumble in the car after I hear new reports, driving to school [so so early in the morning], and a burst of sunshine that springs up inside of me whenever they pull another person out of the disheveled land. I would love to do that kind of stuff.
It's been a recent thing for me, to be thinking about other countries and how I wouldn't mind living somewhere else. I guess I've just realized this place is not my home.
Another thing that stuck me tonight, listening to an Adventure about a woman who has some kind of a memory disorder. I sat and cried my eyes out [while still making note cards]. There's something so special to me about when people can't remember things, and then God does a momentary miracle and restores something to them, just to bring them joy.
Working on my floor at the hospital there are many confused patients, you get this grace that comes over you when working with them. Last time I worked, one of my patients was rough and hard to deal with, but, I was talking to her and trying to get her to trust me. My nurse told me, in a joking way, that I was full of s***. lol. It's so funny though, because I don't mind sweet-talking or trying to convince the person to trust me [I'm learning about it in class too].
I'm not sure how all of these things connect; but making the connection that they all mean something to me, stirs something inside of me ...a boiling pot of noodles inside of me or something... lol. I don't know what God has in store for me, but I thank Him for His heart, and I want more of it.
I'm amazed by Him, and how He loves me.
Just finished putting my past two weeks of school power points onto notecards. I could've just printed them out, but...I don't learn that way.
It's interesting, being in school. Nusing school. The school I've been waiting to get into for at least 1 1/2 years if not more. It's been so tedious. Even today I had to fax something else in for my file related to my health assesment. oooohh nursing term. Already wearing off.
As much as I enjoy being school and I've been telling people that it's not as overwhelming because I have been anticipating giving this much of my life away for a while; I have to now deal with people...my teachers and my fellow students. There are 19 people total in my class, and for lab and clinicals we are broken down into even smaller groups! It's a very communicating, teaching, learning, understanding environment that cracks the whip on one hand and cradles you in the next.
It's much more conversational than I'm used to.
Plus I'm not an early morning person, so when I come in to get lectured to, I want to take notes, listen, and go home.
I've taken a nap nearly every day in the past two weeks that I haven't had to work.
It's just a lot of learning, but more so on a level of social understanding, at least for me.
By the time it gets to Friday, I want to sign a certificate that says I made it through another week of school. I have my first test next week, which should be interesting. I have a mountain of cards, and a few more to still make.
But God is good.
I've been asking Him to help keep me humble, teachable and give me more grace. Always more grace, I seem to lack it on a epic level. Grace and tact. God loves to test it though. And I trust Him with that. Because He IS good.
Point and fact of this blog:
Tonight, I was sitting doing my notecards and listening to Adventures in Odyssey [because some stuff is still good]. Ever since school has started, my teachers have all been challenging us about what kind of nurses we want to be. I've never really known for sure. I love kids, but the thought of working with them in a hospital setting...kills me.
With everything going on in Haiti the past week, there has been a little kick inside of me, prayers that I mumble in the car after I hear new reports, driving to school [so so early in the morning], and a burst of sunshine that springs up inside of me whenever they pull another person out of the disheveled land. I would love to do that kind of stuff.
It's been a recent thing for me, to be thinking about other countries and how I wouldn't mind living somewhere else. I guess I've just realized this place is not my home.
Another thing that stuck me tonight, listening to an Adventure about a woman who has some kind of a memory disorder. I sat and cried my eyes out [while still making note cards]. There's something so special to me about when people can't remember things, and then God does a momentary miracle and restores something to them, just to bring them joy.
Working on my floor at the hospital there are many confused patients, you get this grace that comes over you when working with them. Last time I worked, one of my patients was rough and hard to deal with, but, I was talking to her and trying to get her to trust me. My nurse told me, in a joking way, that I was full of s***. lol. It's so funny though, because I don't mind sweet-talking or trying to convince the person to trust me [I'm learning about it in class too].
I'm not sure how all of these things connect; but making the connection that they all mean something to me, stirs something inside of me ...a boiling pot of noodles inside of me or something... lol. I don't know what God has in store for me, but I thank Him for His heart, and I want more of it.
I'm amazed by Him, and how He loves me.
January 18, 2010
favorite pictures from the past month :]
winter formal 2010
new years at Kelly's
scrapbooking :]
winter kingslove 2009
sarah's christmas party
new years at Kelly's
scrapbooking :]
winter kingslove 2009
sarah's christmas party
January 8, 2010
psh this is Cleveland...snow is normal.
It's so amusing to me, that the weather reports right now are like "okay so we're gonna get be getting a lot of snow, very unusual" ...uhuh...this is Cleveland, we always get ridiculous amounts of snow. Get reallll.
Last night I was driving home from work and I kicked my car into neutral like ten times...just to not go sliding all over the world. Now, if I could master brushing off my car without covering myself in snow... that would be winner.
Speaking of my car...my Dad decided that it would be better not keep 4 vehicles running over the winter...and my little car was the one who got the boot :[ so it's currently parked away until spring and I am driving the van.
Winter Formal is tonight. I do feel a little silly, and will end up feeling very old going tonight, but some of my favorite senior girls have asked me to go [and since it is their last winter formal...]. They grow up so fast.
Ben and Anna are going tonight, they have been buying dressy clothes, Anna's been talking about her hair and nails and Ben's been sending me pictures of clothes he's thinking about buying. Such fun. I love being the big sister, there's a handful of times where that pays off.
School starts this coming week, on Thursday for me. Nursing School. Literally, I feel like I've been waiting for this moment for over a year...just for something to go the right way! School is still hard though, and not fun at all.
Lol, I hope my friends won't abandon me because I won't be the most social person. Which is a switch.
It's been hard to get up today...it's sooo cold. But I have things to do...a camera to buy, patches for my uniform...gah, theeen formal prep with my family.
Little life, winter blurb.
Adios :]
Last night I was driving home from work and I kicked my car into neutral like ten times...just to not go sliding all over the world. Now, if I could master brushing off my car without covering myself in snow... that would be winner.
Speaking of my car...my Dad decided that it would be better not keep 4 vehicles running over the winter...and my little car was the one who got the boot :[ so it's currently parked away until spring and I am driving the van.
Winter Formal is tonight. I do feel a little silly, and will end up feeling very old going tonight, but some of my favorite senior girls have asked me to go [and since it is their last winter formal...]. They grow up so fast.
Ben and Anna are going tonight, they have been buying dressy clothes, Anna's been talking about her hair and nails and Ben's been sending me pictures of clothes he's thinking about buying. Such fun. I love being the big sister, there's a handful of times where that pays off.
School starts this coming week, on Thursday for me. Nursing School. Literally, I feel like I've been waiting for this moment for over a year...just for something to go the right way! School is still hard though, and not fun at all.
Lol, I hope my friends won't abandon me because I won't be the most social person. Which is a switch.
It's been hard to get up today...it's sooo cold. But I have things to do...a camera to buy, patches for my uniform...gah, theeen formal prep with my family.
Little life, winter blurb.
Adios :]
January 3, 2010
ushering in 2010.
So...it's twenty-ten or two thousand and ten...I like saying the second one better than the first. There's an argument there.
I can't believe it's a new year, but I am so thankful. My 2009 finished so much better than I expected, simply because I assumed my year would never get better - But God is good.
Being on Christmas break, having Winter Kingslove, passing my NET test, finally, AND getting into Nursing School made for a HECK of a Winter Break. Before I knew it, New Year's Eve was upon us.
As always, I get reflective at the end of the year. I think most people do, but I tend to write a lot in my journal, browse through my pictures on facebook and ask people about their favorite moments of that year. Emily and I had a lot of fun on New Year's Eve [in our many adventures of driving around] talking about our favorite moments of 2009. The best part of them had a lot to do with how Jesus has just shown up in our lives and proved to us over and over again that He is faithful, and He has something special for both of our lives.
I don't think I've ever been challenged before more in my life then over the course of 2009. During this past year, I started a new job, took two very hard classes, dropped one of them, began to get involved with C-HOP and learned about my place, planned a summer outreach, tried to find my self-worth in people, worked through a lot of relational stuff with certain people I am close with, learned to divide my time between the people I love, started a&p againnnn, became a member of a church for the first time ever, took my nursing enterance test 3 times, worked through issues at work...learned about being an adult............. and the list goes on. Above is in a nutshell. It makes me tired just thinking about it all.
I guess life continues to get complicated as you get older. Everyone says that, but I don't think you really understand until you see it before your very eyes. I definitely did not.
Rabbit trail: I recently realized that very cliche things to say are actually true...they are just abused lol.
I am amazed that God knows my needs. I'm pretty sure I say that all the time, but it baffles me time and time again that He does. And then beyond that, He knows other people's needs. The best thing to pray for people is that they would be encouraged by what God is doing in their life.
I know that I am provided for anytime I hang out with someone who is close to me. Everytime I stand up and sing at C-HOP. Anytime anyone prays something specific over me. Everytime some situation at work pans out. Anytime I hear younger kids around me step up to the plate and become the people God has just begun to call them to be.
Even when the situations don't always go exactly the way you wanted them to...you can still find something that proves that God has been faithful.
And that is my testimony of 2009. I hope that is my testimony of every year.
But there was something in particular about this year that just proved His faithfulness. Something about sitting on my kitchen floor in February, crying my eyes out, begging God to be real to me, to change me. Something about laying on the beach in the summer and asking God how He wanted me to handle the current situation I was in. Something about trusting Him through circumstances that could have wrecked up my whole "plan".
The pressing through, pushing on. This is my walk with Jesus.
It gives me chills thinking about it.
...or it could be that it's FREEZING today.
Reguardless.
I am encouraged, even when I feel discouraged. I have no idea what this year will bring [except for a lot of school], but God has placed so many awesome people and opportunities in my life in the midst of all the choas, and I know He has a plan.
YAYYYY new year!!!
byes :]
I can't believe it's a new year, but I am so thankful. My 2009 finished so much better than I expected, simply because I assumed my year would never get better - But God is good.
Being on Christmas break, having Winter Kingslove, passing my NET test, finally, AND getting into Nursing School made for a HECK of a Winter Break. Before I knew it, New Year's Eve was upon us.
As always, I get reflective at the end of the year. I think most people do, but I tend to write a lot in my journal, browse through my pictures on facebook and ask people about their favorite moments of that year. Emily and I had a lot of fun on New Year's Eve [in our many adventures of driving around] talking about our favorite moments of 2009. The best part of them had a lot to do with how Jesus has just shown up in our lives and proved to us over and over again that He is faithful, and He has something special for both of our lives.
I don't think I've ever been challenged before more in my life then over the course of 2009. During this past year, I started a new job, took two very hard classes, dropped one of them, began to get involved with C-HOP and learned about my place, planned a summer outreach, tried to find my self-worth in people, worked through a lot of relational stuff with certain people I am close with, learned to divide my time between the people I love, started a&p againnnn, became a member of a church for the first time ever, took my nursing enterance test 3 times, worked through issues at work...learned about being an adult............. and the list goes on. Above is in a nutshell. It makes me tired just thinking about it all.
I guess life continues to get complicated as you get older. Everyone says that, but I don't think you really understand until you see it before your very eyes. I definitely did not.
Rabbit trail: I recently realized that very cliche things to say are actually true...they are just abused lol.
I am amazed that God knows my needs. I'm pretty sure I say that all the time, but it baffles me time and time again that He does. And then beyond that, He knows other people's needs. The best thing to pray for people is that they would be encouraged by what God is doing in their life.
I know that I am provided for anytime I hang out with someone who is close to me. Everytime I stand up and sing at C-HOP. Anytime anyone prays something specific over me. Everytime some situation at work pans out. Anytime I hear younger kids around me step up to the plate and become the people God has just begun to call them to be.
Even when the situations don't always go exactly the way you wanted them to...you can still find something that proves that God has been faithful.
And that is my testimony of 2009. I hope that is my testimony of every year.
But there was something in particular about this year that just proved His faithfulness. Something about sitting on my kitchen floor in February, crying my eyes out, begging God to be real to me, to change me. Something about laying on the beach in the summer and asking God how He wanted me to handle the current situation I was in. Something about trusting Him through circumstances that could have wrecked up my whole "plan".
The pressing through, pushing on. This is my walk with Jesus.
It gives me chills thinking about it.
...or it could be that it's FREEZING today.
Reguardless.
I am encouraged, even when I feel discouraged. I have no idea what this year will bring [except for a lot of school], but God has placed so many awesome people and opportunities in my life in the midst of all the choas, and I know He has a plan.
YAYYYY new year!!!
byes :]
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