change

A whole year without blogging, how odd for me...and what a year 2012 was. If you read my last blog, it's crazy to see all of the things I was anticipating come to pass. I am currently a nursing school graduate & a married woman. Crazy. If you know anything about getting married or getting through school, you will realize why I had to give up something I am passionate about. Often times in life, you give up multiple things to focus in on only few, or maybe one. I am thankful to have reached the point in life where I can return to the things my heart holds dear, revisit jotting down my thoughts about life and sharing them with you. I am baffled to think about the highlights of 2012, but I will venture down that path to attempt a snapshot. The year began in celebrating my Grandmother, Violet Fitz's life, with all of her children and grandchildren together. She passed away on December 30th, 2011. She had lived with us for the last 9 months of her life, which had tested our family in many ways - yet pulling us all closer together, making our last times with her memorable. Having all the family together in January was priceless...I will never forget the ridiculous game of Jungle Speed we almost all died over playing at the kitchen table. There are so many reasons why God gives us family, one of them is definitely for joy. Weddings began early in the year as well, my lovely friend Emily got married, I was privileged to get to be a part of the wonderful occasion. Everyone told me when I was younger that there would be a time where weddings would be happening all over the place - I didn't believe until it happened to my world as well! As you know, I was still in school this past year, 3rd semester proved to be very difficult for me, in fact, it's hard to remember much of anything else that went on during those 4 months other than studying. However, I found, much to my surprise, I actually really enjoyed working with kids! It has changed my direction for nursing - even if it won't happen for a number of years - I have a goal in mind. On the last test that I had to take, I could only miss 4 points...and that's how many I missed! Phew! Never again will I push it that close! Thanks to my amazing Mother, I pressed through and studied harder than I ever had. It was such a relief to plow into my wedding season without the burden of school. Oh oh how wonderful wedding season was...and how stressful! Planning my wedding was so fun, and I tried so hard to not stress out, but it was still hard not to. Regardless of the stress level, everything came together. I married the most amazing man, during an incredible ceremony of music, tears, vows and prayers. Looking through the pictures these past few weeks brings back all the warmth I felt that day. The summer truly began when my love & I landed in Mexico for our honeymoon. We had plenty of time to relax, have adventures and enjoy each other. Over the summer, I worked full time and really just adjusted to married life. To be honest, I wanted to implement all of the things that I thought would be the "right" things to do as a married couple, but Josh encouraged me to sit back, relax and just ease into the new life we began together. It was good advice. More on marriage, of course, to come. Change had begun, but more was to come, as had been anticipated. When one of the branches of our church closed, we took that as the sign we had been praying for to look for a new church. We knew that God was going to be taking us somewhere else in the future, even before we got married. I knew my spirit was not being fed or challenged and I was hungry for more. I am excited to share more about what God is doing in my heart as a result of the message the new church we have been going to is bringing - all to say now is that we love it there, we love the people, the mission, and what God is doing in us as a result of it. Fall brought a new church, as well as the last semester of school for me. In the middle of my school year, two other close friends of ours got married as well, Evan & Lauren. How fun it was to celebrate a marriage of two people, you know a similar amount, standing up there for them. It was a wonderful day, one that I won't forget. Dedication was my middle name during the past 4 months. I've never worked harder or for longer hours from the jump. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done to this point. I did feel very lonely because of all the time I isolated myself from others in order to study. In this past season, God, in all His love comforted me by something I've known for so long, but somehow had let myself forget. That I am never a lone because I belong to Him. What can I say? God shows us how awesome He is, even when we doubt it. In that frame of mind, heart and soul, I finished the semester and graduated the next week. The finish line was finally met! It's been a whirlwind ever since...In looking into the next few weeks, I am hopeful for the slow down about to take place. Even though I did not blog over this past year, I read many blogs via pinterest, which brings me to what I would like to start doing with my blogs...a new direction if you will. Up to this point my blogs have been just about life or what God has been showing me, I still want to include that, of course, but also other life stuff...like recipes I've tried & liked, work outs I've started, progress made with fitness...just my new life as a wife & a nurse! All of that to say, but simply to end with this - my world is on a continual path of change inside & out. I'm thankful for the past, excited for the new.

ushering in 2010.

So...it's twenty-ten or two thousand and ten...I like saying the second one better than the first. There's an argument there.
I can't believe it's a new year, but I am so thankful. My 2009 finished so much better than I expected, simply because I assumed my year would never get better - But God is good.
Being on Christmas break, having Winter Kingslove, passing my NET test, finally, AND getting into Nursing School made for a HECK of a Winter Break. Before I knew it, New Year's Eve was upon us.

As always, I get reflective at the end of the year. I think most people do, but I tend to write a lot in my journal, browse through my pictures on facebook and ask people about their favorite moments of that year. Emily and I had a lot of fun on New Year's Eve [in our many adventures of driving around] talking about our favorite moments of 2009. The best part of them had a lot to do with how Jesus has just shown up in our lives and proved to us over and over again that He is faithful, and He has something special for both of our lives.

I don't think I've ever been challenged before more in my life then over the course of 2009. During this past year, I started a new job, took two very hard classes, dropped one of them, began to get involved with C-HOP and learned about my place, planned a summer outreach, tried to find my self-worth in people, worked through a lot of relational stuff with certain people I am close with, learned to divide my time between the people I love, started a&p againnnn, became a member of a church for the first time ever, took my nursing enterance test 3 times, worked through issues at work...learned about being an adult............. and the list goes on. Above is in a nutshell. It makes me tired just thinking about it all.

I guess life continues to get complicated as you get older. Everyone says that, but I don't think you really understand until you see it before your very eyes. I definitely did not.

Rabbit trail: I recently realized that very cliche things to say are actually true...they are just abused lol.

I am amazed that God knows my needs. I'm pretty sure I say that all the time, but it baffles me time and time again that He does. And then beyond that, He knows other people's needs. The best thing to pray for people is that they would be encouraged by what God is doing in their life.

I know that I am provided for anytime I hang out with someone who is close to me. Everytime I stand up and sing at C-HOP. Anytime anyone prays something specific over me. Everytime some situation at work pans out. Anytime I hear younger kids around me step up to the plate and become the people God has just begun to call them to be.

Even when the situations don't always go exactly the way you wanted them to...you can still find something that proves that God has been faithful.

And that is my testimony of 2009. I hope that is my testimony of every year.
But there was something in particular about this year that just proved His faithfulness. Something about sitting on my kitchen floor in February, crying my eyes out, begging God to be real to me, to change me. Something about laying on the beach in the summer and asking God how He wanted me to handle the current situation I was in. Something about trusting Him through circumstances that could have wrecked up my whole "plan".
The pressing through, pushing on. This is my walk with Jesus.
It gives me chills thinking about it.
...or it could be that it's FREEZING today.
Reguardless.
I am encouraged, even when I feel discouraged. I have no idea what this year will bring [except for a lot of school], but God has placed so many awesome people and opportunities in my life in the midst of all the choas, and I know He has a plan.

YAYYYY new year!!!
byes :]