Soooooo.... I have 6 days before is school over.
I'm super stoked, pumped, excited...to put it lightly, I occasionaly break into squeals.
In between reading, and finishing up the rest of school this past week, I have been relaxing a good amount, simply being next week is gonna be like study, breathe, sleep -- and repeat. But the month of May will be a wonderful break before summer classes, and for that I'm really happy.
I have kept from writing in here blog, because there isn't always a need to be a open book, and discretion is needed when having a blog.
God has been showing me pieces of His heart though, and helping me to understand what kind of heart He's given me. Last week, we had this 4 hour learning thing at work, about "relationship based care". It was hard to just sit there and hear someone who wasn't really interested in solving problems, rather push all the old crap under the rug and try something completey new. We did this excersie at the end where we had to share our ideas about how to make our work place better with other people. Everytime I opened my mouth, I was suprised of the amount of conviction that was coming out of my mouth. I went home discouraged because I felt like it was the hardest thing to maintain such conviction in a day in and day out going to work & school.
I feel like I have so many dreams to pursue so many things, but it's not time for most of them. I have to learn to be content, but not stagnant. To trust and rest in His peace, but not become lazy. Ugh, lol.
However, there are moments that I am reminded why I do what I do, why I was made for this time and place. I got to pray with one of my patients this past week, and, as always, it touches me more than they could ever imagine. God is so good, and He has good things in store for me.
Waiting for that is now, but also waiting with anticipation of what is coming. Ultimately, what is coming is heaven. Where there will be more tears, worry, sorrow, confusion...fill in the blank...etc.
At C-Hop we've been singing into John 14:1-3, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
It has been the greatest comfort to me, given me strength to press when I don't feel like anything is worth it. Having the understanding He is in fact preparing a place for me in heaven to be with Him, causes me to believe that now, while He has me on earth He also has good things for me. The second part of that is also believing that the good parts of my life that have passed aren't the only ones. It's a hurdle, and it's about trusting Him. And thanking Him. For my life so far, the moments I wouldn't trade, everything I've learned, every challenge that beckons me to reach for something more.
These things have awaken my heart.
There is more in store ;)
Off to some life.
Later guys <3
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